If you are wringing your hands, thinking, "I don't know what to doooo! I have no direction! Will I ever figure out what to do with my life/job/biz/etc?" then you are far from alone.

Every transition you go through in life (career, relationship, location, etc) is a chance to recreate, redefine, or revise your identity. That’s why transitions are so freaking scary. “If I leave my nonprofit job, I’ll no longer be save-the-world-girl!” “If I do a stint in a corporate job, I’ll have to cover my tattoos and be a normal.” “If I go part-time so I can hang out with my kids, I’ll stop being independent-ass-kicking-girl. AND THEN WHO WILL I BE???”

Full-on existential meltdown mode. Sound familiar?

If you’re freaking out about changing careers or finding your career/business niche and purpose, you might be dealing with an identity block. Here’s something that will help...

I recently went to a kickass conference for lady entrepreneurs, and my mind was blown by all the knowledge dropped. One of my favorite things was the discussion around branding, which has been a weirdly loaded word for me. Non-entrepreneur peeps, stay tuned, I promise this will be good for you, too.

I’ve always thought of branding as somewhat icky and inauthentic, and I’m allergic to anything that seems fake. My idea of branding involved “curating” my personality in a way that wasn't real. I learned that this is not at all what branding means. Basically, my new and improved definition of branding involves figuring out your innermost essence and communicating it in a way that other people get it, or as one of my favorite clients puts it, “describing and quantifying your magic.” Innermost essence and personal magic? I’m in.

The speaker shared that when she was creating the branding for her website, she walked around her home and gathered her ten favorite objects and took them to her designer. 

“When you are drawn to things, it’s because they are reflecting your essence back to you. You see yourself in them.”


My jaw dropped, and I felt a sinking in the pit of my stomach. I thought about walking around my house in search of my ten favorite things, things that undeniably screamed “Amy,” and felt flabbergasted when I couldn’t think of two things, much less ten. “OMG, who am I? How am I supposed to grow my business or communicate my offerings to people when I can’t even succinctly sum up who I am to myself, forget my tribe!?”

Aren’t you glad I had that existential meltdown so you don't have to? There are a few things I learned.


The good news is that though external markers of your identity may change over time (hairstyles, jobs, friends), the core of who you really are is pretty fixed and pretty rad. The bad news is that you may have accidentally put on an identity that’s not really working for you anymore, and now you have to shrug out of those ill-fitting clothes and into what’s right for you. 


THAT is one of the biggest keys to figuring out what to do with your life.


If you need to create or revise a better-fitting self so you can figure out the core of who you are and consequently, find your purpose, DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET BELOW AND try this to start:

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Step #1: Find Your Favorite Objects:

Walk around your house and find your three favorite objects.  Not the things that cost the most or the things that seem the most impressive; just the three things you absolutely love, even if you don’t know why.

Step #2: Find Your Favorite Clothes:

Open your closet.  Pick out the three outfits you feel most kickass in, the ones that inspire selfies and and put a little sashay into your step.  They don’t have to be fancy, just uniquely you. 

Step #3: Find What Calls to You:

Take a trip to your favorite store: clothing store, grocery store, bookstore, whatever.  Find three items that call to you.  You don’t necessarily have to buy them, but if you don’t buy them, snap a picture of each.

STEP #4: FIND your favorite people:

Think about your friends, family, acquaintances, heroes.  Who do you feel most YOU around?  Who are the people who make you feel like the best, coolest, most badass version of yourself?  Snap pictures.

Step #5: Look For Patterns:

Lay all items (or pictures) out on your living room floor, take a step back, and go into inquiry.  What patterns do you see emerging?  What do all of these things have in common?  What do you see in them that is uniquely you and being reflected back?  What themes or colors or motifs are repeated?

Step #6: Make Meaning:

Make meaning out of what you notice. When I created this exercise, I was surprised to find that all of my favorite “me” objects and outfits were blue, gold, and some shade of red.  I looked up the symbolism of each color and found truth (blue), illumination (gold), and femininity and power (pink and red).  “Well, duh, Amy.  Your life purpose is all about empowering women to be in their truth and illuminating what their truth is…you’re all about being the lamp to their feet.”   There were also a lot of florals present.  I’m not sure what that means beyond the fact that I really love creativity and Spring.  Do your research into the symbolism of shapes, patterns, and themes you see, and do your best to make them represent something.  If you feel like you’re making stuff up, even the things that you make up are clues.  For example, when I looked up the symbolism of gold, I found it represents a number of things: wealth, power, illumination, royalty, etc.  Why did I latch on to illumination?  It was more “me” than the others.

Step #7: Evaluate Your Life for Alignment:

Use what you’ve learned about your core WHO to give you the direction and clarity you’re craving.  When I saw it all laid out in front of me, my WHO was obvious, and that WHO became a pretty important piece of clarity for upcoming decisions and direction: If something in my life aligns with that true WHO (career, relationships, shoes, etc), great!  Proceed!  If it doesn't align, I need to re-evaluate and reconsider.

Realize that you are not going to uncover your soul purpose overnight.  That’s okay.  Start by being open to the signs, and imagine how much easier job searching and niche planning is going to be when you know exactly who you are. 

Want more soul purpose?  


Sign up to my email list below for an upcoming chat about how to make decisions and stop fighting with your soul.  Plus you'll get the nifty worksheet on doing this self-finding exercise...yes, it might include shopping.

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