"Am I doing this right?"
"Am I ever going to figure it out?"
"Why can't I just move on?"
"What if this doesn't work out after all?"
"What's wrong with me?"
I've declared May to be Blooming-And-Blossoming-Into-Confidence Month, and nothing steals your confidence quite like a daily barrage of self-doubt and anxiety popping up at the least opportune times.
If you are trying to accomplish any big thing in your life, doubt, fear, and anxiety are going to pop up. For 99% of the population (including myself and every single client I've ever coached), anxiety almost always precedes a big breakthrough. This is because the force of growth and momentum within you is battling the force of comfort and stagnation. Any time you begin to grow, the status quo forces in your life may get a little...well, pouty and put out. The status quo forces aren't evil. They're just uncomfortable, and they are responding your growth by throwing the breaks because they truly believe it's the best way to keep you safe. Bless their hearts.
Take a breath. There's nothing wrong with you. You're on the precipice of something real, and you're just freaking out a little. It's completely normal, and you are exactly where you need to be. Anxiety, fear, and self-doubt are things in your world, not your entire world.
First, let's honor and accept the fact that this is happening, it's normal, and it's going to be fine. Great job. Now let's bring out some Anxiety Busters so you can take a brain break and do the things that matter.
Anxiety Buster #1: Support
I get it, you're tough. When you're in the midst of an attack of self-doubt, fear, or anxiety, it's completely reasonable and okay to ask for support. Reach out to a friend, partner, or coach, and let them know what's on your mind loop at the moment. Chances are, they may be able to see the situation more clearly and offer good counsel. It might even help them! They can at least commiserate and help you get your mind off the situation for a little while. If you don't want solutions or advice, ask them to sit with you while you get it all out. If you're too keyed up to sit, get a friend to go on an impromptu walk or hike where you can spill your guts without judgment. Knowing that you are not alone and that support is always available to you in some form may be exactly what you need to take some deep breaths and move on.
Anxiety buster #2: Push the Google Earth Button
If you don't already know, I am a devout follower of the Gospel According to Rupaul, and he refers to "pushing the Google Earth button" as a way to zoom out and look at your current situation as though you were looking down from the sky or from space, like how your ex's street appears far away when you stalk him by playing with Google Earth.
Push your own Google Earth button and try to observe the situation causing you anxiety from a slightly more objective standpoint. Pretend you're an alien who knows nothing about human life. "Hmm, I'm noticing an Earthling pacing around her abode with great energy because she can't seem to find the shiny, pointy objects that unlock her car-thingamabomb. This must clearly be a life or death situation on Earth."
When you're truly able to zoom out, you usually find that very few situations and worries are actually life or death situations that require immediate anxiety and attention. The thing you're sooo worried about right now? How big of a deal is it in the grand scheme of the Universe, really? If the answer is "not very," let it go. If the answer is "somewhat to very," get support and deal with it. Spoiler Alert: most situations fall firmly into the "not very" camp.
ANXIETY BUSTER #3: MEDITATION
I can barely sit still for an entire movie with loud noises, colorful images, and popcorn, so believe me when I tell you: stillness takes practice. Clearing your mind can feel impossible when you have a running playlist of your fears and doubts occupying your brain at any given time. Buddhist Monks call this the "Monkey Mind," and it's a giant confidence thief. Monkey Mind is a great way to approach potentially getting eaten by a saber-toothed tiger. It's not a great way to figure out your life purpose or improve your health, career, and relationships. Monkey Mind happens to all of us, but luckily we have a built-in Monkey Mind antidote: Meditation. Meditating actually lowers your heart rate, lets your cells heal, and calms your inner monologue. It also heightens your ability to be in the present moment, which gives you more feelings of peace and expansion, which turns into increased confidence. Pretty cool, right? You may feel goofy, but you are completely capable of sitting still and ohm-ing for two minutes a day. If meditation feels overwhelming or confusing, sample a meditation app or look for guided meditations on YouTube.
I even created a FREE guided meditation for you that's simple and specifically designed to help with anxiety. Sign up below and enjoy.
Get the FREE Guided Meditation and Put Your Anxiety Down
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